In lieu of flowers
(Ongoing)
About
Lately, it’s been too much.
Too much loss of life. Loss of community. Loss of work. Loss of livelihood. Loss of homes. Trees. Health. Time. Faith. Loss of autonomy. Loss of sanity. Loss of trust.
And yet, in the face of this collective grief, we are all very much alone.
In the past ten years, I’ve experienced how variously unequipped we are to deal with grief. Friends and family members awkwardly change the subject. Coworkers ask unhelpful, sometimes hurtful questions. Loved ones flounder to find a way to support. I felt so alone and unheard that on multiple occasions I sat in my car in an abandoned Walmart parking lot and screamed at the top of my lungs. Grief is, perhaps, the emotion that makes us most human, and yet it feels like a burden to ourselves and to our loved ones as we awkwardly cope with the unimaginable.
Right now, there is so much grief. I look at my phone and I talk to my friends and we are all collectively hurting so much. There is so much grief and it feels like there is no space for more, as if we are all one teardrop away from causing the bucket to overflow.
I don’t have much to offer, but I want you to know that you are seen and heard. I’ve set up an anonymous voicemail box: if you need to, you can call and leave some of your grief with me. Rant, whisper, sit in silence, or scream in abandoned parking lot. Whatever you need. As many calls as it takes.
In memory of your loss, I’ll draw you an image like the one shown: a negative space outline of a flower - “In lieu of flowers”
The fine print: all voicemails will be completely anonymous and will remain entirely private. The number to call is (+1) 716.218.8688 - it’s a US number. Your call will go straight to voicemail, and it will cut off at 3 minutes. Like I said above, please call as many times as you need. You will receive a text message from that number once your drawing is complete.
